and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
