so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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