i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize