how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
