i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
