Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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