did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
