he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
