you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
