You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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