if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
