If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
