are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
