I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
