I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize