I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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