the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Congratulations! We have a period
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
