I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize