I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize