We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize