We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
