No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
