He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Two words: nipple clamps
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