some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
