So drunk its hurt
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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