Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
