she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
