I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
