He is an equal opportunity slut.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
