plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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