dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
