Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
