end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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