Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
