If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
