They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
