My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
