so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
