I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
