Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
