Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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