id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
