Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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