Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize