I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
