belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
