Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
