the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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