I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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