How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
