Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
