she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
