Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
