youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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