Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
3 2 1 whiskey
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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