help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
