My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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