You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
