Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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