My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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