we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
