Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
