I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm having to shit out rocks
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
