lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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