The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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