once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
