my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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