You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize